Day 332 – Quality Storytelling

34 – 100 Worst Movies

I have to confess something…
I like quite a few of the movies on this list.

I wonder if they perhaps wrote it down wrong, because the list of Dishonourable Mentions looks much more disreputable than the main list at the top.

But first; let me confess the movies that I actually enjoy…

Some on the list aren’t great masterpieces, but they made for good in-the-background-while-I’m-working movies. Battlefield Earth might be based on a ludicrous religion, but it has one of those standard action plots that you really do not need to pay too much attention to. And Armageddon follows the disaster-movie blueprint pretty much to the letter. Neither is outright bad. Neither is particularly good. They most definitely do not qualify among the 100 worst in my mind.

Others have no right appearing anywhere near this list.

Howard the Duck would undoubtedly be dated if I re-watched it today, but I have very fond memories of the over-the-top invaders-from-another-dimension plot. The premise (a duck) is a bit ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than Man of Steel in its own way.

Hudson Hawk I would watch again in a heartbeat if I had it in my library. What could be better than burglars that time their jobs based on a song-and-dance number. And the plot is right up there among the Lara Crofts and Indiana Jones’ of this world.

Nothing But Trouble starts slow but gets outright bizarre fairly quickly. It doesn’t make a lot of sense at any point, but it doesn’t have to. No. Let me correct that. It shouldn’t. That’s the point.

Most of the list makes me feel like it got thrown together based on “that movie wasn’t what I expected, therefore it is terrible“. Which is a rather narrow perspective.

The only movie on the first list that I unequivocally will agree belongs is Dungeons & Dragons. The title alone held so much promise. The opening scenes were a bit stiff, but I didn’t give up. But once Jeremy Irons went into one of the most stilted performances I have ever seen from him, it dawned on me that the director must have treated the actors as hand-puppets.

Actually.

That would be an awesome project.
Someone should keep the Dungeons & Dragons audio track but replace all the visuals with Muppets stiffly acting out all the scenes. I think that might actually turn it around altogether. Or push it all the way through awful and back in the other side into awesome if you will.

And the one title that was missing that I was fully expecting to feature.
The Haunting. Possibly the most laughably bad movie I have ever seen in the cinema. IMDB search didn’t even want to admit it existed. I had to go to Liam Neeson and find it from his past roles listing. It is intended as a horror/thriller. The effects were so terrible that half the cinema-goers were laughing through the experience. I just double-checked; it is most definitely not meant to be a comedy.

I shouldn’t trust lists I find on the internet.

2 thoughts on “Day 332 – Quality Storytelling”

  1. And now I want to see “The Muppets do D&D”! Someone really needs to make this a thing! Also, right with you Hudson Hawk. That movie gets panned so badly in my circle of friends but I love it. (And from a girl’s perspective, Bruce is kinda REALLY hot.)

    1. I think it’s the purest snobbery… I can only assume that Hudson Hawk was perhaps assumed to turn out differently, or maybe it was even advertised wrong at the time. It’s just a really fun movie. Like Galaxy Quest really 😉

Comments are closed.