Day 300 – The Write Ambitions

66 – The Write Life Presents: The 100 Best Websites for Writers in 2014

So many links to follow. So many posts to read.
The links today had a lot to offer. I almost got lost in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.

To continue writing after my challenge is over and to grow an audience from there, I’ll have to make a few changes to my routine and the way I write. I think it is abundantly clear that I need to come up with a properly focused scope for my blog. Or maybe I need to segment my blog between everyday ramblings, and my real writing. This challenge is just too disorganised to grow an audience on.

I am not a morning person, but Shanan at The Procrastiwriter makes a compelling argument for a morning writing routine. I know that some of my most rushed challenge-posts were written past midnight when I really just wanted to go to sleep. Writing in the morning, and not posting till it’s done would be a good foundation for consistent quality. It is also hard to use good judgement in a sleepy haze; “good enough” at midnight rarely still is at 9am.

And then there are 7 fixes to write better by Mary Jaksch at Write To Done that I might want to exercise as well. Which would involve leaving a post sitting for a day anyway so that I can somewhat objectively check my work. Again something that isn’t compatible with my challenge, but probably essential beyond it.

For anyone out there with a drive to write, I would recommend having a look at today’s link. The list of websites is well organised into topics and types of writing. There’s probably something useful there regardless of whether you want to blog, write novels or freelance.

Day 279 – Results May Startle You

87 – 100 Tips To be a Lady

First, let me acknowledge this is a very problematic list.
The tone set by the title is very uncomfortable to start with, and the content doesn’t manage to avoid overt sexism. More on that later.

First…

The Score

Have you tried matching yourself against the list?
I did.
The Results May Startle You!

If I disregard all the questions that have gendered language making me ineligible to say yes, I still score 64%. If I simply gender-flip the gendered questions, my total goes up to 81%! I feel more elegant already; I wonder if I should go buy a black dress?

Logic

A large swathe of the questions are surprisingly easy to answer “yes” to as a man. Many of them make assumption about what the reader wants to do; if I don’t, then the statement is true for me by default. Some examples.

4. Only wear heels if you know how to walk in them.
Because I don’t wear heels, this is automatically true.

7. Never show too much leg or too much cleavage at the same time.
I never show cleavage, so this is also automatically true.

24. Your make up does not have to look natural, but make sure it looks clean.
I never wear make-up, so this is automatically true as well.

Universal

About 37 of the statements are really things everybody should be aspiring to, regardless of any other factors. I have to admit, I cannot actually tick all of them myself, but I’m working on it.

12. Remember birthdays and send thank you notes.
I wish I were better at this, but my memory is shocking. Time runs away with me, and once I catch up it is far too late to do anything about it. But what does this have to do with being a lady exactly?

55. Do not interrupt people speaking to you.
This is much harder than it sounds in theory. It’s hard to listen and not speak to begin with. And every once in a while I find myself in a conversation where I really want to say something, but there are no gaps, so the only way to get in is to crowbar in an interjection.

Sexist

I was hoping to be surprised what I would find at the other end of the link, but sadly I found enough of what I expected.

6. Enjoy the fact that you are a woman and men will enjoy it, too.
I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean.
I know what it sounds like, and it makes my skin crawl.

56. Never ask if you look fat.
90. Exercise and stay fit ! A lady isn’t overweighted.
I don’t even know what to say.
I’ll comment on the atrocious grammar, because it’s easier than saying something coherent about the sentiment.

63. Don’t use fake tears to win something.
I think… I’m going out on a limb here… but I think… most adult women do not in fact do this.
But feel free to propose a few more tips for non-existent problems that make women sound like they’re only two steps away from being spoiled 12-yr-olds.

96. Never let a man define you. Be amazing on your own!
Except, in as much as you should be following these tips to be a lady of course.

Bizarre

And then there is one more that I just couldn’t even wrap my head around.

73. Don’t eat your roll like an apple. The courteous way to dine on bread is to tear off a bite-size piece and pop it in your mouth.
If anyone has ever seen someone eat a roll in the fashion described here, please let me know. Or even better, send a picture!

Day 266 – 100 Secret Tips that Could Kill You if you Read This Post!

100 – 100 Free Blog Tips and Blog Help Every Blogger Should Read

Today I is learning. Better blogging, here I come! I’m a mere 100 tips away from rolling in my very own pile of blogging-money. Wish me luck!

3. Choose a narrow topic and stay focused on your niche

Am I narrow enough?
If not I can work a little harder at the gym.
Maybe I can focus on just a part of my personality instead if all of myself and my life is too broad. I could dedicate the next 99 posts to just my sense of self-worth.

19. Edit the images on your blog to make them more unique and visually appealing

Easy!

Put A Bird On It!
Put A Bird On It!

Check!

24. Learn the most important unwritten rules of blogging

Clearly this section is not going to be any help with that.
Skipped!

31. Write great blog post titles that people want to click

Well…

…okay, but I’m not sure if that’d be considered false advertising.

41. Follow a blog posting schedule that will help you reach your goals

HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHA

73. Use keywords in your blog posts to get more search traffic

Let’s check out what has gotten caught in the stats-lint-trap over the past year.

Jerryjvl the flying squirrel loves Surfers Paradise by night. The Gold Coast of Australia is the best place at night to check your weight in the morning versus the evening. (ed: Something about tidal forces, maybe?)

Signs of stupid people include inability to talk without flapping your arms around, wouldn’t you agree “the day of the doctor”? I often have dream arguments like that with sally louise hately (how did people find my blog trying to find a pole-dancer!?).

Today was almost a disaster day with gmail things going into spam that are not spam as xkcd has explained. Often the problems will continue without michel’s patisserie. Or otherwise a female armour problem.

I cannot say that I’ve got fitbit flex mildew in the band, but then I wash mine regularly, despite my spotify test account that I set up with non-transitive dice.

Proto ice-cream, jaymes diaz, reflection performance, qnap chromecast, squaffins, games.

Also: viagra*.

So, there!

92. Decide if selling merchandise on your blog is a good fit for you

I really don’t think t-shirts with my face would sell.
Alas.


*not an actual search term that found my blog, but here’s to hoping!