Day 279 – Results May Startle You

87 – 100 Tips To be a Lady

First, let me acknowledge this is a very problematic list.
The tone set by the title is very uncomfortable to start with, and the content doesn’t manage to avoid overt sexism. More on that later.


The Score

Have you tried matching yourself against the list?
I did.
The Results May Startle You!

If I disregard all the questions that have gendered language making me ineligible to say yes, I still score 64%. If I simply gender-flip the gendered questions, my total goes up to 81%! I feel more elegant already; I wonder if I should go buy a black dress?


A large swathe of the questions are surprisingly easy to answer “yes” to as a man. Many of them make assumption about what the reader wants to do; if I don’t, then the statement is true for me by default. Some examples.

4. Only wear heels if you know how to walk in them.
Because I don’t wear heels, this is automatically true.

7. Never show too much leg or too much cleavage at the same time.
I never show cleavage, so this is also automatically true.

24. Your make up does not have to look natural, but make sure it looks clean.
I never wear make-up, so this is automatically true as well.


About 37 of the statements are really things everybody should be aspiring to, regardless of any other factors. I have to admit, I cannot actually tick all of them myself, but I’m working on it.

12. Remember birthdays and send thank you notes.
I wish I were better at this, but my memory is shocking. Time runs away with me, and once I catch up it is far too late to do anything about it. But what does this have to do with being a lady exactly?

55. Do not interrupt people speaking to you.
This is much harder than it sounds in theory. It’s hard to listen and not speak to begin with. And every once in a while I find myself in a conversation where I really want to say something, but there are no gaps, so the only way to get in is to crowbar in an interjection.


I was hoping to be surprised what I would find at the other end of the link, but sadly I found enough of what I expected.

6. Enjoy the fact that you are a woman and men will enjoy it, too.
I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean.
I know what it sounds like, and it makes my skin crawl.

56. Never ask if you look fat.
90. Exercise and stay fit ! A lady isn’t overweighted.
I don’t even know what to say.
I’ll comment on the atrocious grammar, because it’s easier than saying something coherent about the sentiment.

63. Don’t use fake tears to win something.
I think… I’m going out on a limb here… but I think… most adult women do not in fact do this.
But feel free to propose a few more tips for non-existent problems that make women sound like they’re only two steps away from being spoiled 12-yr-olds.

96. Never let a man define you. Be amazing on your own!
Except, in as much as you should be following these tips to be a lady of course.


And then there is one more that I just couldn’t even wrap my head around.

73. Don’t eat your roll like an apple. The courteous way to dine on bread is to tear off a bite-size piece and pop it in your mouth.
If anyone has ever seen someone eat a roll in the fashion described here, please let me know. Or even better, send a picture!